It’s never OK to date your friend’s ex – and this is why

By Ashley Henshaw. College dating can be a tricky business to navigate. You might get to know someone in a class one semester and then never see them again. Friends in your dorm might break up and then have to live with each other for the rest of the year. No matter how long they dated, if they just broke up a few weeks ago, you should give them time to cool off. Under all circumstances, it would be a nice idea to just ask your friend politely if he or she is okay with it. He or she may still have feelings for the ex, even if it happened a long time ago. If you hurt your friend in the process, you may never get him back. Weigh the pros and cons before do anything, and always keep in mind that your actions could have an adverse effect on your friendship.

Dating A Friend’s Ex Can Be Tricky, So Keep These 4 Things In Mind If You’re Going To Try

Even though there are almost eight billion people in the world, it’s hard to control who you fall for, and sometimes, it can be the most inconvenient person of all: A friend’s ex. No matter how long they’ve been broken up, dating a friend’s ex can put you in a sticky situation. Your friendship could mean the world to you, but if you haven’t been able to shake the feelings you have for your friend’s ex , it might be time to have a conversation.

Dating best friend’s ex is an ambiguous story, which is fraught with many pitfalls. There are a lot of opinions in society, but it is impossible to.

There is an unwritten rule that states a certain line should never be crossed. This line I am referring to is when you date a friends ex. In some situations, there is exceptions to the rule but in If you are already in this position I applaud you, it is all downhill from here. This friend of yours may say it’s okay and they may even encourage you to go for it but this is not how they feel.

It is either a test to see if you will do it or a fake go ahead that you will regret. If you ever get into a disagreement or full on row with your new boyfriend or girlfriend you will get unlimited support off your friend. And, then they will proceed to tell you how they did that to them as well. The situation will all of a sudden be much more dramatic than you first thought.

This will leaving you feeling confused, even worse and on the edge. If you are quite the opposite, cool as a cucumber if you will, the ex may tell you the comparisons. If your new boyfriend or girlfriend lets something slip about their “psycho ex”, it will be more than uncomfortable. What they get you for your birthday will no longer be a surprise as their previous gifts to certain people will start to resemble yours.

What’s It’s Like When You And Your Friends Have Dated The Same Person

Last Updated: September 1, References. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed , times. Breakups can be tough.

Feelings of jealousy, self-consciousness, sadness, and anger are prevalent in such an emotionally-charged situation.

How does one deal with being attracted to a friend’s ex-boyfriend? If you do start dating and she were to get upset, I would guess that either she and he acted​.

As Certified Relationship Coaches, we often get an inbox on our website asking us for the politically correct answer, what are the rules? Overall, we agree it is a case-by-case situation and you should tread lightly. Ask yourself, is it worth the risk? Follow Us. Skip to content. Is this a childhood friend or someone you consider a best friend or sister? Would you be devastated if she never spoke to you again? Is your friend happy in her new relationship and has long moved on?

If this ex was someone that was a fling, a relatively short-term relationship and not the former love of her life, we would say proceed and see where things go Can you imagine if one of them is thinking in the back of their mind that they would be open to trying again if their current circumstances were different, i. A good question to ask is how did the relationship end and would either of them ever be open to trying again?

A tough question but you really need to know the answer.

8 Things That Will Happen If You Date Your Friends Ex

I mean you really would love nothing better than to have them to yourself but you know you have to respect the boundaries hopefully. They belong to your friend and it would look real bad for you to make a move on that person. Fast forward and now they are no longer with your friend. They broke up for whatever reason and it turns out the attraction is mutual. You want to act on it but maybe you feel it is a violation of your friendship…Give me a break!

You are two adults and neither of you are obligated to anyone.

A close friend, 32, dated a woman for eight months, then broke up with her. Three months later, I began dating her after hanging out with her in.

It just sort of happened. In discussing this topic with my female friends, it seems to me that men are especially experienced in dealing with this dilemma. Say a friend of mine breaks up with so-and-so, and we run into her at a party. In some ways this is perfectly natural. This sort of stuff happens more than you might think. But you do need to make sure you go about this right. Anyone who has had any sort of meaningful romantic relationship can tell you that—over it or not—it would be difficult for them to be around their ex.

True life i’m dating my best friend’s ex paris

There is an unwritten code among women, with its many rules, there is one that most people seem to agree. Her is why I disagree with that. If you have broken up barring any physical, mental, emotional, sexual abuse , the person is fair game. Photo by Ogo from Pexels. I think the problem lies in the whole soulmate thinking.

There are many different personalities out there that can mesh and work together.

Just because they did it in Friends, it doesn’t mean it’s OK in real life, guys. Dating their ex undermines the latter two, bringing a sense of.

It does, after all, seem like a hard line to draw in the sand. On the flip side, it might also impact your relationship with your friend, depending on things like how they broke up , how long they dated, and whether or not they still harbor feelings for this person in question. If the breakup was recent, for example, your friend may have some lingering feelings. They may also feel awkward about situations in which the three of you might hang out after these new relationship lines are drawn.

And in that case, your friend may not want you to have anything to do with the ex—to save you from future anguish. Before knowing the best way to proceed, you need to get to the bottom of these feelings. The worst way to go about this? Assuming you know how your pal might react. Instead be clear and direct, which means you need to admit your feelings outright—before things go too far with the ex. You guys were never serious , she suggests an approach that provides your pal some agency.

3 Reasons Why You Should Never Date Your Friend’s Ex

Or, you may be smack dab in the middle of this dilemma and needing to hear this. Think about it: if you love your friend and he loved your friend, then that probably means you share some common values and interests. It probably means certain personality traits are important to both of you.

Dating a friend’s ex can be dangerous to your friendship, but it doesn’t have to ruin everything. Ask these five questions to make sure you know whether dating.

The dating-a-friend’s-ex equation is simple: Figure out the amount of time your friend and his ex dated, then wait two-thirds of that time before you move in on the ex. So if your friend dated someone for three years, you have to wait two years after their breakup. If it was six months, you have to wait four months. If it was a one-night hookup, you have to wait between six to eight hours — depending on when she left the next day. The obvious caveats to this rule include whether your friend is a real jerk then the time limit is reduced to one-third or if the sex is really good in which case all bets are off.

The danger is that in order to find out if the sex is that good, you’ll have to break the two-thirds rule, and this small loophole is single-handedly responsible for most of the world’s troubles, including — somehow — the current economic crisis.

Would You Let Your Best Friend Date Your EX?


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